Prefab
by fallin.sunshine
Summary: AU. "Hello, I'm Uchiha Sasuke. I'm not who you think I am." — SASUSAKU. SASUKE-CENTRIC.
1. 001: making THE BAND

001: MAKING THE BAND

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**BOY BANDS**

**THE KNOW—HOW FOR DUMMIES;**

The **Boy Band** is, sadly, an endangered species; teenage girls find it highly uncool admitting to liking the cheesy dance moves and classy lyrics. However, there is a boy band lover inside each of us— and it's entirely easy to make one. For the aspiring boy band manager, there are five ingredients, and each one of them must be a mucho pretty boy, who falls into one of these clichés;

**01.**The Cute One—  
the above mentioned band member is usually the shortest; he has to have a cute face and appeal to the soft, comforting side of women and gay men alike. He has to be blonde and must be given exceptionally high, and girly, notes to sing.  
BONUS!  
Give your cute, cuddly member a tragic background to tug at the heartstrings of your audience.  
**02.** The Cheeky One—_  
_this band member is cheeky and loud; he's a troublesome punk, who would actually get on your listener's nerves, if it weren't for his charming good-looks and charismatic nature. He must be somewhat witty and considered wild. He must be seen looking refined and handsome at nightclubs, as well as having a good time. He should also be seen teasing and playing friendly pranks on his bandmates.  
CAUTION!  
It is extremely difficult to look refined at a nightclub.  
**03.** The Talented One—_  
_this is the talented, intelligent member of the band; he has to appear mature beyond his years, to appeal to both nerds and older women. He must have a brotherly relationship with every member of the band, disregarding the anti-social one, as to create a friendly, family-like relationship in the band. He must also be extremely smooth-talking and dashingly handsome.  
BONUS!  
Give your intelligent member a piano to further enhance his intelligence and sex appeal.  
**04. **The Mysterious One—_  
_this member must be stunningly handsome, to the point where he is able to turn even straight men gay; he must always be seen as hauntingly perfect, staring broodingly into the distance during interviews. It is often helpful to spread rumours about this member, to create a sense of mystery about him.  
HINT!  
Question his sexuality to make him really appeal to girls (and homosexuals).  
**05.** The Other One—_  
_scientists have tried many a time to figure out what the point of this member is, but have come to no conclusions. This band member is putty in your hands, and prey to your wild imagination.  
CAUTION!  
If this guy isn't _very_ good-looking, he _will_ become _very_ boring.  
WORD OF ADVICE!  
Do not pick a 'minger' for your final member.

**boy bands; the know-how for dummies****  
****legendarysuckerrecords**

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Let the games…

_begin._

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Uchiha Sasuke had never felt this awkward in his life.

He could turn down girl after girl without batting an eyelash; he could ignore them easily as they stood wailing in front of him, mascara running down their faces, begging him to take them back. He felt perfectly normal talking to his (many) ex-girlfriends as well; he always felt, and looked, exactly the same.

But even he felt slightly uncomfortable being checked out by a thirty—something year old woman with _wrinkles._

She wasn't even bothering to hide the fact that she was checking him out; her eyes travelled slowly down his long legs and back up again, staring for a moment too long at his crotch, examining the way his fresh black shirt lay on his chest— then her eyes met his and she smirked. He shivered, and his best friend and co-worker, Uzumaki Naruto, wandered over, grinning triumphantly.

"She's totally checking you out, teme!" The blonde snickered, balancing a cappuccino easily on the tray he was carrying. "It seems even the old chicks find you sexy; I'm not sure whether to act jealous or laugh."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Dobe."

Naruto narrowed his eyes, before faking anger. "Fine! I'll tell Sai to record it like he was going to! You just be that way, Sasuke!"

Sasuke whirled around, looking like he was about to kill the blonde in as painful a way as possible, but the blonde had already disappeared behind the counter. Sai waggled his fingers playfully, brandishing a Motorola ROKR (_lucky sod_), and Sasuke gave up.

"Can I have another coffee, please?"

The Uchiha's eye twitched, as the old-lady-pervert spoke. He quickly scanned the room for Naruto, but the blonde was busy dealing (coughFLIRTINGcough) with a group of giggling girls, and just winked at him. Sasuke sighed and turned around, pasting a sortofnotreally smile on his face. He walked over, tray at the ready, and frowned. "…same again?"

"No, I just needed you to come over here."

A vein throbbed in his forehead as he quickly scanned the old woman. She had long blonde hair, tied into two ponytails, and the largest breasts he'd ever seen— not that he stared at her breasts

—for too long—

of course. She was dressed in a business-like black pencil skirt plus a white silk blouse, and Sasuke suddenly had the impression that he was standing in front of a very rich woman.

She placed her fingers together, leaning forward, and gazed at him with warm brown eyes. "So, you're Uchiha Sasuke, right?"

Sasuke blinked. "How did you—?"

"Your name tag."

"hn."

The woman chuckled. "My name's Tsunade; I'm sure you've heard of me. I used to be the manager of Akatsuki, a popular punk-rock band, until that Madara-_bastard _bought them off me," she scowled, clenching her fists and then smiled sweetly. "But of course you've heard of them! You must be Itachi's younger brother."

"Hn," Sasuke repeated, mirroring her earlier scowl.

"Ah, so there are no hard feelings between you two," Tsunade muttered sarcastically, before smiling again. "You must have noticed me watching you— oh God, that sounds so creepy and pedophile-ish!" She rubbed her forehead, obviously horrified. "You must have felt so uncomfortable. I apologise."

"…_hn_…"

Sasuke blinked. He'd never met anyone who could switch so easily between emotions. One minute she was an angry, cheated business-woman, and the next she was distraught and horrified at her behaviour.

"Anyway," Tsunade said briskly, switching back to her posh and professional behaviour. "I've examined you and your friend closely, and I've decided that you two are precisely what I'm looking for. I can make you rich and famous in only a few weeks—"

Sasuke shrugged, clearly not interested, and Tsunade swooped in for a second attempt.

"—and you'll get as many girls as you want."

There was silence.

"No? _I can make you bigger than your brother._"

He twitched.

"Oh? If you're interested, come to the address written on my business card on the 14th; and remember to bring your blonde friend." She scribbled something down on a small gold card before handing it to him as she stood up.

He gazed down at the card, careful not to show any emotion while she was still there, and then reach forward to take her empty coffee.

She pinched his butt on her way out.

"You won't regret it."

Feeling mortified— and violated— he watched her step outside into the busy street, and march away, before jumping as Naruto materialized at his side. Ignoring the taunting chorus of "she totally pinched your ass, man!", he wordlessly handed his friend the card.

Silence and then—

"—woah, _shit_!"

Sasuke couldn't help but agree.

Woah, shit indeed.

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**Name: **Uchiha Sasuke and his blonde friend  
**Address: **Number 16, on Greenleaf Avenue. It's easy enough to find.  
**Phone Number: **In case you do happen to get lost.  
01796 554376  
**Personal Message: **You won't regret it.

**Tsunade  
Manager of legendarysuckerrecords.**

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"…why are we doing this again?"

"Simple Maths, teme; me being famous equals hot and sexy chicks. Get it?"

"Hn."

"Just because you're gay, doesn't mean I have to suffer."

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Sasuke stopped, pausing in the doorway, and turned to look at Naruto. The blonde stared quizzically back at him, his cerulean eyes impossibly wide, and tufts of blonde hair stuck out from underneath his grey bobble hat. "You're not chickening out, are you, teme?"

"No."

Silence.

"So what's wrong? We're going to get famous, and have loads of money, and elope with our fangirls— so move your ass inside!"

"…you open the door."

"SERIOUSLY!" Naruto huffed, pushing past his best friend to open the door. The pair stepped inside, blinking as their eyes adjusted to the dim light.

A dark-haired woman with kind eyes scurried over to meet him; Sasuke couldn't help raising an eyebrow, as he stared at the pink stuffed pig she was cradling to her bosom. She looked from Naruto to Sasuke, stroking its matted woolly fur, and then beamed at them.

"Good morning, I'm Shizune— you two must be Sasuke-kun and Naruto-kun! Tsunade's been expecting you!"

Without another word, she turned on her heels, indicating for them to follow her, and then marched away.

The two boys glanced at each other, shrugged, and then walked after her.

As she strode briskly along, she began to talk to them, pointing at the many doors they passed and saying things like "there are the toilets!" and "that's where Jiraiya stays, when he comes round— when he doesn't try to sneak into Tsunade's room. You'll like Jiraiya…" They nodded numbly, too busy trying to take in all of the information to respond.

After a while, she stopped outside a polished black door and smiled brightly at them. "Go inside, then, and take a seat next to Neji-kun!"

Naruto opened his mouth to ask who 'Neji-kun' was but Shizune was already halfway down the corridor. Sasuke sighed, pushed open the door, and then pushed Naruto inside— the blonde let out an indignant shout and turned around to glare at his best friend. The Uchiha ignored him, stepped inside, and scanned the room.

It was quite a long office, with a polished-until-it-sparkled desk plus an equally shiny leather desk chair; behind the desk was a whiteboard and projector. On the desk were stacks of untidy papers and a bottle of sake; the sake stood proud and tall next to the golden name-plate. There were three chairs positioned in front of the desk, two of which were already occupied by two teenage boys around their age.

"Yo!"

The slightly shorter of the two greeted them, baring his sharp, pointed teeth at them in a grin— his tanned face was framed by messy brown hair; it spilled into his wolf-like eyes. On each cheek was a red tattoo, like a triangle— he looked like he was the type of guy to often start fights, and no doubt had a hot, fiery temper— he was probably as _loud_ as Naruto.

Sasuke sighed, rubbing his forehead, and he could already feel a migraine coming on.

"I'm Kiba," Wolf-Boy grinned, raising a hand in greeting.

"Hyuuga Neji," the second boy murmured, glancing briefly at them. His long brown hair was tied back into one silky-smooth ponytail; he stared at them with pale lilac eyes. He crossed his arms, frowned, and then went back to staring out of the window.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto!" Naruto cheered, before jerking his thumb in Sasuke's direction. "And this jerk is Uchiha Sasuke, the human ice-cube."

"…hn." That would do as a greeting.

Sasuke scowled, sat down in the last chair, and then smirked at Naruto; the blonde pouted, annoyed, and then perched on the edge of Kiba's chair. The pair immediately began to talk, chatting animatedly away, and Sasuke was left to stare at Neji; the Hyuuga glared back at the Uchiha as the pair both wondered why they were there.

Just as Naruto was about to complain loudly about how long Tsunade was taking, the door opened again and Tsunade marched briskly in. She sat down at her desk, sighed, and then gave each boy a quick once-over.

"Sasuke, Sasuke's-friend-whose-name-I-still-don't-know, Kiba and Neji," she greeted, and then paused, staring at Naruto. "What is your name, by the way?"

"Naruto," he pouted childishly, feeling slightly left out.

"Ah, you're perfect!"

There was a pregnant pause.

"Uh…" Naruto shifted awkwardly in his seat and just as Tsunade was about to speak again, the door opened.

"Sorry I'm late," the newcomer murmured, scratching the back of his neck lazily. He stared at the four boys with tired brown eyes; Sasuke scowled, annoyed at the disruption.

"Shikamaru," Tsunade stated coldly. "You're late."

"…I know," Shikamaru raised an eyebrow and brushed a piece of stray brown hair behind his ears. "That's what I just said—"

((the guy had guts))

"—troublesome woman."

((…or a death wish.))

Tsunade shot such a deadly glare in Shikamaru's direction that the lazy boy seemed to wilt slightly. "All annoying and 'troublesome' disruptions aside, I've called you five capable and extremely pretty boys here for just one reason; I'd like to turn the four of you into a boy band."

Sasuke disliked being called pretty.

"As I've explained before to all of you, minus adorable Naruto here, I was up until recently the manager of Akatsuki. I know all the tricks of the trade and I know how to make you a star. Punk-rock, emo, and just-plain-rock bands are _so _over-rated; they've been around for too long and the music industry needs something fresh. That's where you come in—"

"—but I can't sing!" Naruto protested.

Neji snorted in disbelief.

Tsunade merely smiled patiently. "It doesn't particularly matter, Naruto; half the members in Akatsuki couldn't sing. We altered their voices slightly; just a bit, since Itachi and the blonde one were particularly good; and look how big they are! But I've created a formula and I know just how boy bands are made."

She turned around and switched the projector on. Then she placed a white sheet on top of it and Sasuke found himself staring at an enlarged version of him, dressed in his work uniform. Tsunade had taken a picture of him when he'd been caught off guard; he was staring past her, at something behind her, and was frowning slightly.

He scowled.

"This is Uchiha Sasuke," the business woman continued, using a ruler to point at the picture. "He's your typical pretty boy; he's silent, he's mysterious, and he doesn't talk a lot. Like a blood-red rose, he's seductive and sexy without meaning to be— and all he needs is food and water to keep him rolling. He's broodingly handsome and mysterious; he's your typical Mysterious One— the member of the band that people like to speculate about. Fans like the gossip and they like the rumours and they simply love his tragic past— everything works in Sasuke's favour, including the fact that his older brother, and known Akatsuki member, is gay."

"Itachi's not—"

"That's what you think, honey, that's what you think. Now, moving on," Tsunade paused, reaching over and removing the photo of Sasuke.

Up came a picture of Kiba, obviously at some type of party; the lights in the background were all different colours and Kiba's shirt had almost been torn off his body. He was grinning, though, and patting the head of a little white puppy, which bounded at his feet.

"This is Kiba. He's the Trouble-Making One. He's cheeky, he's wild, he's lively and damn it, is he charming. He loves a good party and the chance to bare his sculpted torso— and, let me inform you, that this torso right here—" she reached over, patting Kiba's chest "—will be pinned to the bedroom wall of every girl soon enough. Not only does Kiba appeal to the wild, partying inner demon, he also softens the hearts of every animal lover. He's definitely a romantic at heart— he lives with his gentle mother and older sister, both of who work at a family vet clinic, and aspires to save Lassie's everywhere."

Kiba hissed, shaking his head, "that's bullshit! Hana and Mum are as gentle as freakin' pretty boy eatin' _fangirls_."

"That's what a boy band is, darling; bullshit. It's built up on a foundation of lies and stretched truths; apart from that bit about Itachi, which is nothing but the truth." Tsunade nodded earnestly, before swapping the picture of Kiba with a picture of Neji.

He was at a piano, a small smile on his face, his eyes closed; his hair wasn't tied back and fell across his forehead. He looked perfectly at ease with himself and the world, relaxed and peaceful, and most certainly in his own little happy bubble. The real Neji scowled.

"You've been spying on me!"

"Hinata gave it to me. She's such a sweetie!" Tsunade grinned, before pointing at the picture. "Meet our little prodigy, Hyuuga Neji— and boy, is he intelligent! With an amazing IQ, a passion for the piano, and an expert at all logical games, he's our little genius; our Talented One. He plays multiple instruments, goes bird-watching every Sunday, and has a sob-story ready made for him. His kind father died when he was a child and, ever since, he's had to live with his strict uncle. Ooh, isn't it thrilling? Not to mention, looking as beautiful as he does, he's likely to be pined after by women over twenty-five as well!"

Naruto nudged Sasuke, sniggering. "So you're not the only one, teme— feel pleased, I guess."

Neji looked outraged. "You've never had your butt slapped when buying oranges, by your _old school teacher_! You wouldn't be laughing then, Uzumaki."

Sasuke simply nodded, memories of Tsunade's sharp nails pinching the soft skin of his butt flooding through his mind. He could _definitely_ relate.

The business-woman ignored them, swapping the photos quickly and Sasuke blinked back his disbelief. The photo of Naruto, projected onto the white-board, was a side of Naruto that he hadn't seen often— a side that he wasn't allowed to see often.

The blonde was in a cemetery, stood in front of two gravestones; his head was bowed in respect ("or to hide his tears!" Tsunade cheered, obviously pleased with the photo) and he was holding a bunch of flowers. In fact, he could only tell it was Naruto from the tell-tale whiskers on his cheeks and messy blonde hair; otherwise, the boy looked so solemn and saddened that the Uchiha couldn't recognize his best friend.

"Oh, don't you just feel your heart ache? Look at darling Naruto, stood by his parents' graves; look at those sad little eyes and that sad little frown. But look how cute he is! Yup, Uzumaki Naruto is our Cute One! He's our little blondie; the guy who every girl wants to cuddle and look after because he's just oh-so-cute! We want to molly-coddle him and clutch him to our heaving breasts— and no doubt he isn't so displeased about that. And he's got such an amazingly tragic back story; his mother died giving birth to him and his father died saving his life. It makes him feel so guilty, because he feels like _he's_ the reason why they died."

Naruto could only gape.

"And then there's Nara Shikamaru." There was a quick photo-change and Tsunade pointed at the picture; Shikamaru was just lying on his back, gazing up at the clouds. "He's the Other One. Nothing really special about him, apart from the one fact that he gets to be whoever he wants to be— or whoever I want him to be— as long as it isn't himself or one of the other four types."

"So I've really got the best 'type'?" Shikamaru yawned, pleased despite himself.

"Well, yes— depending on how my imagination feels." Tsunade nodded and then smiled hungrily at the five boys; Sasuke was reminded of a shark, a deadly hunter, and he felt like the smallest prey ever. She switched the slide and they blinked at her untidy scrawl, attempting to read her handwriting; she tutted, before continuing. "I'm going to give you a copy of the rules and a contract; you sign it and, basically, I'm in charge of your entire life. Understand?"

Naruto bit his lip, nodding uneasily, and Kiba grinned, shrugging. "Rules were made to be broken, right?"

"Break these and you pay with your life."

There was an uncomfortable silence, before Tsunade continued. "You'll also get a list of your character's traits; make sure to memorize them. These traits, these types… Make them yours! We want to change boy bands forever; when someone says boy band, I want them to have no choice but think of you! You need to act! You need to change! You need to adapt!"

As she spoke, she handed them each a neatly typed contract. There was silence as the five boys read the rules. Then, one by one, they looked up and turned to gaze at each other.

Sasuke spoke first.

"I need a pen."

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"Now, first things first," Tsunade announced, once they'd all signed their names and handed her the contracts, "we need to think of a name. It needs to be something catchy, something easy to say and something everyone will remember! Any ideas?"

Sasuke frowned.

"It doesn't need to be anything personal," the blonde woman continued. "It can be a quote you like, or something you heard someone say just recently. Nothing personal."

Neji scowled.

"It might help to name yourself after a street," Tsunade nodded, trying to give them ideas. "Or you could just pick random letters which look good together and _then _think of what they stand for. Like… ENS. Everybody. Needs. Somebody. See? Or just stick your initials together; SNSNK, NNSSK, KSNSN, NSKSN. Easy enough, right?"

Shikamaru yawned.

"It could be anything; _anything. _Like that new cult-thing which is going around; Jashinism, I think— no, that's too dark for a boy band. You've got to be a picture of innocence; guys have got to want to be you and girls have got to want to be with you!"

Kiba stretched.

"Oh, come _on!_ How hard can it be?! You're not even trying! Ideas, people! IDEAS!"

Naruto blinked.

Tsunade put her head in her hands and groaned; "Oh God; why did I chose idiots?! Good-looking idiots, hell yeah, but idiots nonetheless! Ideas, now!"

Neji sighed, ran a hand through his hair, and then gazed at the business woman coldly. "You said you had a formula for making boy bands, correct? So why don't we just name ourselves Formula? If I say it, it sounds intelligent; Uzumaki can say it with a baby-ish voice, or whatever, and Inuzuka can try and sound like a, uh… Troublemaker. Uchiha doesn't have to say anything and Nara can just yawn."

Tsunade blinked.

"Oh, I _love_ you."

"…"

"I _really _love you! You are a _genius! _You're epic; you're amazing; you're wonderful and, not to mention, hot! The name doesn't have to mean anything; it doesn't have to be cool! It's the _way you say it _which makes it everything! YES! Hyuuga Neji, I'd marry you if it didn't make me seem pedophile-ish!"

Silence.

Naruto attempted to smother his laughter, but failed epically, and Neji whacked him across the head.

"You can go now, by the way. I've already got your mobile and home numbers; Shizune''s getting them now, as well as your addresses. I'll contact you when necessary. All I want you to do now is bond."

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Introducing…

**Hyuuga Neji**; the intelligent one!

**Uchiha Sasuke**; the mysterious one!

**Uzumaki Naruto**; the cute one!

**Inuzuka Kiba**; the trouble-making one!

**Nara Shikamaru**; the other one who's there to make up the numbers!

Together they're…

**FORMULA!**

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The meeting was over and Sasuke left, with Naruto, feeling nothing slightly excited. The blonde paused, rubbing the back of his neck. "I feel like I've just sold my soul to the devil."

"…I feel likewise."

They glanced at each other; onyx eyes met ocean-blue eyes.

Silence.

And then…

"There'd better be really hot chicks."

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For once in his life, Sasuke agreed with Naruto.

…

…

And, besides, Itachi could _not _be gay.

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* * *

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give me a toot,  
i'll sell you my soul  
pull my strings and i'll go far…

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* * *

Boy bands are most certainly my guilty pleasure. And I heart writing Tsunade's bit— she's going to be all my dirty thoughts and secret wishes in fanfiction flesh. Plus, she just really wants cash, y'know?

x


	2. 002: it’s all ACTING, don’t you know

002: IT'S ALL ACTING, DON'T YOU KNOW?

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**BOY BANDS**

**THE KNOW—HOW FOR DUMMIES;  
**_**  
**_To create a friendly and safe atmosphere within your boy band, there are a few rules that members should follow if they wish to get paid. You typical female fan doesn't like change; she'd much prefer the same, original members than for you to attempt to introduce another new one, because one broke the rules.  
Do not let your fans down!

**01. **Never miss a meeting. There are no exceptions, whatsoever.  
**02. **Always stay in character, no matter what— you are no longer yourself; you are now a type'.  
REMEMBER!  
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.  
**03. **Before you decide to do an interview, or agree to anything, you must run it past the Manager.  
**04. **Never turn on a fellow band-member; they are your family, your friends and your everything.  
**05. **Exercise and stay fit. Image is everything. Always check your appearance before leaving the house, since the paparazzi are everywhere.  
REMEMBER!  
Close your curtains before you go to sleep, and only open them once you are looking fabulous.  
**06. **Never do, or say, anything you might regret later. You are the image of everything peaceful and innocent.  
REMEMBER!  
This means no sex tapes, no swearing, no scandals and nothing embarrassing or shameful.  
**07. **You cannot argue with the Manager. What she says goes.  
**08. **Treat your fans with respect and patience, no matter how annoying they can be. Be kind and friendly, unless it says otherwise.  
EXAMPLE!  
The Mysterious Type will need to be mysterious and should stick to one-worded answers, when answering any questions.  
**09. **Unless told otherwise, keep everything you do secret.  
**10. **And, perhaps the most important rule of all, never date a fan.

It will _always_ come back to bite you later.

The punishments for breaking any of the above rules can be loss of friendship, heart-break or being beaten up by an extremely angry Manager.

These rules were written by **Tsunade**.  
Manager of **legendarysuckerrecords**.

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It didn't take Tsunade particularly long to get in touch with Sasuke; in fact, the phone call came all too soon and on just the wrong day. She'd called him on a very rare occasion— Itachi had decided to pay him a visit and had turned up, with an annoyed-looking Kisame, at his doorstep.

"Well then, little brother," Itachi murmured in greeting, and Sasuke merely scowled; by the look of his designer shirt and jeans, the older Uchiha, and Akatsuki, were doing quite well. "Aren't you going to let me come in?"

Kisame grinned, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Yo."

He'd originally wanted to slam the door in their faces and then act like he couldn't hear their persistent knocking— he'd decided against it and, in a defeated manner, let them inside his cozy little apartment. Itachi wrinkled his nose as he looked around, "little brother, I could buy you a mansion and, yet, you still choose to live in this dump."

"…'s'not a dump." Sasuke muttered, narrowing his eyes.

The blue-haired, older man grinned, ruffling Sasuke's hair. "I'm sure he'll figure out a way to get some cash, 'tachi," Kisame turned to his band-mate, his grin widening. "After all, he can't work at Costa Coffee for the rest of his life."

Sasuke didn't bother responding, and stalked off to the kitchen to make them some coffee (_oh, the irony!_). He paused, stirring the steaming-hot drinks thoughtfully, and peered around the door at his brother. Without meaning to, he found himself remembering what Tsunade had said.

"…_he found out his brother was gay."_

He frowned, still pondering those words as he gave the two older men their drinks; he completely ignored their mumbled 'thanks' and stood awkwardly opposite them, still thinking. After a while, Itachi coughed, startling the younger Uchiha out of his thoughts. "Sasuke," his older brother murmured softly. "You've been tuning out."

"I was thinking."

"Don't hurt yourself," Kisame teased, rolling his eyes. "I didn't know you could think. I thought all Uchiha's just stood there glaring and grunting, like this one does." He jerked his thumb at Itachi, scowling. "What were you thinking about, anyway?"

"I was trying to figure out whether or not Itachi was—"

—the phone rang and Sasuke let out a sigh of relief— after all, he'd come so close to acting like such an idiot. Itachi shot him a puzzled glance before picking up the phone.

"Hello?" He practically whispered; his eyes widened, he blinked, and then raised an eyebrow at Sasuke. "Tsunade? Yes, Sasuke is here. Yes, I am going to find out why you're calling him, though I already have a hunch."

The older Uchiha passed the phone wordlessly to his visibly-paling younger brother. "Tsunade."

"—Sasuke! You should have told me Itachi was going to be at yours for a little while; I would have called your mobile. But, I figured you'd be at home, so— listen, don't tell Itachi anything. No matter what. Because then he'll just pass it on to that sonofabitch, Madara—"

"There's a lot of sexual tension between the pair of you, isn't there?" Sasuke winced at the following shriek of protest.

"—you bastard! You arrogant bastard! God, this is why I hated Itachi!" There was a hiss of frustration and Sasuke sniggered. Obviously, that did nothing to help Tsunade's now-sour mood. "Anyway, you get your ass to my office in five minutes. Throw Itachi and his boyfriend out if you have to. Just get here pronto."

And then she hung up.

Sasuke strode briskly past his brother, tossed the phone at Itachi, and then sighed. "If you don't ask, you can stay here for the night."

"I have my own house, little brother, so you're going to have to do better than that," Itachi murmured, the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

The younger grimaced. "You and Kisame can have my flat to yourself, I'll stay over at Naruto's, and I won't tell anyone you're gay. Now, is it a deal or not?"

Itachi smirked.

"Deal."

-

-

"Yo, Sasuke!"

Sasuke blinked, turning around to find himself face to face with a grinning Kiba; the brunette waved at him with one hand, the other reaching down to scoop a small, white puppy off the ground. To Sasuke's surprise, the other boy then proceeded to place the dog on his head and act like nothing had ever happened.

"…Inuzuka."

"Did the old bat tell you why she wanted to see us?" Kiba asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"No. I pissed her off." Sasuke rolled his eyes, smirking.

"Heh, so did I." Kiba's grin grew wider. "I told her I was taking Akamaru—" He gestured briefly at the puppy on his head. "—and she got all fussy about how dogs weren't allowed in her office and how I'd better start paying attention to the rules, 'cause there were plenty of other guys who are desperate for chicks and money." He sniggered. "What can I say? I'm just getting into role, y'know?"

The Uchiha shrugged, unsure of what to say; and then he became aware of Kiba staring directly at him, as though he was trying to figure something out. "What?"

"I was just thinking…"

"There's a surprise."

Kiba ignored him. "Why'd you say yes? Was it for the chicks? Nah, it can't have been; you look like the type of pretty boy girls— and dudes— chase down the street. Cash? You're an Uchiha; yeah, so your parents are dead, but they left you heap-loads of money, right? So… why?"

Sasuke merely hn'ed and the Inuzuka grinned.

"Are you gay then?"

And Sasuke punched him.

-

-

**04. **Never turn on a fellow band-member; they are your family, your friends and your everything.  
**BROKEN.**

…

It was a stupid rule anyway.

-

-

"You _hit _him?!" Tsunade roared, glowering darkly at Sasuke.

"Hn." The Uchiha hn'ed, ignoring her look of rage.

Kiba fidgeted awkwardly. "Hey, it's no big deal—"

"—Kiba," Tsunade turned to glare at the other boy, her voice suddenly soft and, if it were possible, even scarier. "Didn't you bother reading the rules? Number four; never turn on a band-member. Never! NEVER. As in, you know, _don't do it! _What don't you get about that, Uchiha?!"

"…_hn_."

Naruto sniggered, before looking innocently away.

"Ugh! But what can I expect? He's an _Uchiha! _With absolutely no respect for the rules; just like Itachi! And no doubt he cheats at cards, like that asshole, Madara!"

Shikamaru yawned and Neji rolled his eyes, deciding to intervene and sweet-talk Sasuke's ass to safety.

"Tsunade, I'm sure Uchiha's lack of regard for the Rules has nothing to do with the fact that he's an Uchiha. However, it _is_ no big deal; surely you can simply rope this into yet another scheme of yours? Perhaps Kiba was protecting a young woman from a violent mugging and got caught up in the process? I'm not the Manager, so use your imagination; assuming you're as intelligent as you are beautiful."

The older woman fluttered her eyelashes playfully, before laughing. "I guess you do well with the ladies, right Neji? But, flattery aside, I think you're right." She turned to gaze sternly at Sasuke. "However, you'd better than Neji for being there and saving your sorry ass. Otherwise, next time— no, screw that; there won't be a 'next time', right?"

Sasuke shrugged.

"Hn."

Tsunade nodded smugly to herself, leaning back in her chair, and then surveyed the five boys. She frowned, before pointing at Naruto; the blonde blinked and glanced quickly at Neji, who, despite seeming to know everything, looked just as puzzled as the Uzumaki. "Hey, Naruto. Say Sasuke's name."

"Uh… Sasuke?"

"…no. Add '-chan' onto the end."

"…"

"Just do it."

"Sasuke-chan."

"Say it again. And, this time, look at Sasuke."

"Is there any point to this?" The blonde promptly winced, shivering slightly as Tsunade glared darkly at him, and then turned to face Sasuke. The other remained stoic, apart from his usual smirk, while Kiba sniggered happily. "Sasuke-chaaan."

The Manager clapped her hands, applauding the Uzumaki brilliant performance. "Now the rest of them, Naruto; and you can improvise. Try out your own style. We want your character to appear needy, as though you're desperate to stay with them, but cute, so that girls can picture you saying their names like that. Understand?"

Naruto just scowled.

"Oh, good!"

"Sasuke-chaaan. Neji-sempai. Shika. Kiba—! Hey, stop laughing, you moron! Kiba-dickface!" Naruto pouted, glanced swiftly at Tsunade, and then continued with his little performance. "Kiba… Kiba… Kiba? Ki-Ki? Kibaaa? Kiiiba? Uh…" Shrug. "Just Kiba."

For a moment, Tsunade seemed proud of Naruto; and then she nodded once and then gestured for them to all stand up. Sasuke did so, still chuckling slightly at Naruto's earlier humiliation, and then glanced uneasily at the others. Neji was the tallest, followed closely by him and Kiba; Shikamaru had to be around the same height as them, but his hair made him seem taller. Naruto was by far the shortest; Sasuke had already known the blonde was short and had proceeded to tease him non-stop.

…and he already knew what Tsunade was planning.

"Kiba, since you're the Troublemaker, feel free to tease Naruto about his height at any possible moment. Call him Shorty; you know the drill. And, Naruto, you can call him— and only playfully, remember, we're all friends here— Meany. So you two have an Older Sibling-esque relationship."

"Wha—?!"

"Complaining already, Shorty?"

"This isn't fair! Why am I the only one who gets picked on?! And I have to act like I love 'em all to bits, but Kiba's a real _prick_! This isn't fair!"

"Such is life, kiddo, deal with it."

-

-

For some reason, Sasuke felt like the Manager had been picking slightly on Naruto. He had no clue why, didn't really care why, and couldn't be bothered to find out why. So he followed a sour Naruto home in silence, explained briefly why he was staying over at his best friend's, and then watched the latest episode of Bleach with the blonde. After yelling "BANKAI!" a few times, playing anime charades and basically taking the piss out of everyone and everything, Sasuke finally felt like he'd cheered the Uzumaki up and they went to bed pretending everything was the same as it had been before.

-

-

"Itachi, why does your brother think you're gay? I mean, there's nothing about you that seems even slightly homosexual…"

Kisame promptly burst out into a round of loud, obnoxious guffawing.

Itachi merely rolled his eyes. "Kisame, I am not gay. I will kill you if you continue to say I am— now shut up and keep looking."

The older man looked vaguely insulted, before sniggering softly. "What are we lookin' for, anyway? I mean, I know _what _but you never said what it looked like."

"Ignore my earlier instructions and listen to this one, Kisame; shut the hell up." He turned, throwing a threatening, fake smile in Kisame''s direction, and then continued rummaging through his little brother's items.

Kisame sniggered once again and then slipped away to the kitchen.

"Ah-ha…" The Uchiha prodigy murmured, finally pulling a shiny gold business-card out of the drawer. He gazed swiftly at it, smiled, and then leaned back, closing his eyes; he silently placed it into his pocket.

"Madara would definitely like to see this…"

-

-

"Naruuuuto! Saaaasuke!"

Naruto's eye twitched.

Sasuke scowled.

"Karin."

The Uchiha didn't bother turning around, as the girl flung herself over him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her head against his chest. "Oh, Sasuke, Sasuke… I went on holiday, did you know? I missed you, I really did. I mean, I met this guy called Suigetsu and he was cute and all—"

"—that's really great, Karin-chan." Naruto cut her off, smiling pleasantly. "He sounds like someone you should really get to know."

"I know, Naruto; doesn't he just?!" She detached herself from Sasuke, so that she could fling her arms around Naruto. "Y'know, you seem loooaaads nicer now than you did a couple of days ago. I mean, what I'm trying to say is, you've really _changed._ Well, yesterday you wouldn't even look at me, let alone call me 'Karin-_chan_', and now you're supporting me and smiling and being really friendly. Like the type of guy who'd be an awesome boyfriend. Shame you're not my type, otherwise I'd totally jump you."

Naruto seemed taken aback; and Sasuke blinked. Now that he thought about it, the blonde _had _changed. He'd become sweeter, chatting to the girls in the cafe, instead of flirting, and he'd smiled and blushed whenever they said something flattering about him. He'd stopped being Mr. Lover, Lover and turned into a Teddy-Bear Boyfriend. It was strange how easily he'd slipped into his new character

((new life))

already. Sasuke didn't know whether or not he liked the change.

((new person))

"Really, Karin-chan?" Naruto chirped brightly. "I can't see a difference. But, I'd be able to see one if you treated me to ramen! Tch, and Sasuke-chan, but he's acting all grumpy because he slept on the floor last night."

"I'm not _that _grumpy."

"Are so."

"…am not."

"Are so!"

"Wah, but you two haven't changed at all!" Karin giggled, before frowning. "I mean, you've changed but you haven't— both of you— especially you, Naruto. Sasuke-chan? Can I call you that, Sasuke? Wait, Naruto; the guy's supposed to treat the girl to ramen! _Hey!_"

-

-

((I don't really want to change.

Not really.

Would you?))

-

-

"Oi, Sasuke, Shorty! Fancy seein' you here, right?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, lifting a hand briefly in greeting; Naruto waved, his face practically lighting up, and bounded over to where Kiba sat with Neji. Karin blinked, looking from Naruto to Sasuke, to Naruto again, and then waved a hand in front of Sasuke's nose. "Hullo? What's going on? I didn't know we were meeting cute guys."

"Karin, the long-haired guy is Hyuuga Neji, and the other one is Inuzuka Kiba. Hey, this is Karin!" Naruto grinned, introducing them to each other; Neji nodded his head and Kiba stood up, stepped briskly over, and then planted a kiss on her cheek.

"Nah, this isn't Karin. This is an angel; and she's fallen from heaven to seduce me with her startling beauty."

Sasuke deadpanned. "She crawled out of hell, more like."

Karin swooned and blushed and fluttered her eyelashes at all the right moments, but even she was just slightly confused— just slightly puzzled. She glanced from Neji to Kiba, marveling at a) just how cute they were and b) the fact that she'd never met them before in her life and, if she was correct, she was pretty sure Naruto and Sasuke had only met them recently. And, yet, it was as though they were all the best of friends.

"Yo."

Karin blushed; oh yeah, another cutie. Yummy scrummy.

Shikamaru yawned, stretching slightly, and then offered a hand to Karin. "I'm Nara Shikamaru. You are…?"

"K—Karin." She cursed her stuttering speech, bad luck, and the fact that she wasn't even wearing a skirt and showing off her fabulous legs. Tch, sometimes life just wasn't fair.

Nara Shikamaru nodded, sitting himself down next to Sasuke, and then promptly launched into a conversation with the mysterious Uchiha. Kiba and Naruto were playing an enthralling game of rock-paper-scissors, while Neji looked on in amusement, and Karin just sat.

She was surrounded by HAWT boys.

What more could a girl wish for?

Her phone let out a text-message-like beep.

-

-

**To: Karin  
From: Suigetsu**

hi.  
juugo thought i should tell you, because he heard you singing; we're in a band. we play mostly rock and we're by ourselves. i do most of the singing, but i suck, so we're never going to get out of my garage. but you'd be perfect.  
interested?  
my place, wednesday.  
you, me and pizza. juugo is not invited.  
x

-

-

"_SQUEE!"_

"K—Karin? Are you alright?"

-

-

"Hey, your friends are nice! When did you meet them? _How_ did you meet them?" Karin asked, the moment they'd left the cafe.

"None of them are on the lookout for girls."

Karin scowled, punching Sasuke's arm playfully. "No, I didn't recognize them, and I know most of your friends. Because, a) Sasuke doesn't have friends, only fan-girls and Naruto, and b) Naruto doesn't have many friends, only Sasuke and Sasuke's fan-girls. And Sai. But she-males don't count."

"Are you a she-male then?"

"Shut _up_!"

Naruto chuckled merrily, before patting Karin's head. "You've got a date, haven't you?"

"How the hell could you tell?!"

"Other than your random squealing in the café— you're not clinging to Sasuke as much. Is it this Suigetsu guy?" Karin nodded, grinning, and Sasuke marveled at how easily his best friend had changed the subject.

-

-

"Kisame, we're leaving now. Tidy up."

Kisame gazed at the scattered pizza boxes, the papers which Itachi had tipped onto the floor in his frenzied search for God-knows-what, and the slightly broken Xbox 360.

"…"

"…"

"I'm just gonna shove it all underneath the sofa, 'kay?"

"Whatever. Remember, you're the one paying for the Xbox. Otherwise, I fear my little brother will hunt you down and kill you. Get someone to drop one off."

"But _you _broke it—"

"…" Glare.

"I mean, uh, I did it all and I will replace it."

"That's what I thought you meant."

-

-

Later that day, when Itachi finally managed to show his Manager the gold business card, Madara was thrilled. He peered at it, patted Itachi's head and told the other to 'run along' (which seriously pissed Itachi off), and then promptly picked up his mobile.

"_Hello?"_

"Suigetsu, right?"

"_Is this Uchiha Madara? Wow! Did you change your mind?"_

"…not quite. I've got an excellent band on my hands already, and _two _excellent bands is quite a handful. However, I know someone who is in interested. Have you heard of _Sound 5_? Good…"

Two minutes later, and a very happy Madara had hung up. Next, he dialed another number, humming tunelessly to himself as he did so. There was a brief paused and then someone had picked up the phone. _"Kabuto here. Orochimaru isn't here right now, so please leave me a message I can give to him."_

"Kabuto! Just tell Orochimaru to ring me back. I've got some 'good gossip' to tell him; and I've thought of a way to bring down legendarysuckerrecords for good. We can even make that old pervert look like a fool! Tell him I have an offer he just can't resist…"

-

-

And, thus, the wheels of fate began to roll.

-

-

* * *

—-

—

-

and i am a weapon of massive consumption  
and it's not my fault, it's how i'm programmed to function  
i look in the sun and i look in the mirror  
i'm on the right track, yeah  
we're onto a winner

-

—

—-

* * *

Chapter two has been checked through and changed slightly— not majorly, so it's all fine. I totally love Itachi; I'm not sure at the moment as to whether he _is _gay or not, but I'll just go with the flow.


	3. 003: three, two, one and ACTION

003: THREE, TWO, ONE AND ACTION

-

-

**To: Sasuke  
From: Legendarysuckerrecords, Tsunade**

Office. Now. Don't be late, or I'll kill you. We're going to be recording your first single and the video to go with it; and then you have an interview to advertise said single.  
See you then, T.

-

-

Sasuke yawned, tugging his dark denim jacket on and shoving his mobile phone back into his pocket. He glanced quickly around his apartment, checking everything was tucked away; other than his Xbox, which sat sorrowfully on the table, a huge crack running down the middle of it, waiting for Sasuke to take it for repairing.

The Uchiha sighed, swung open the door, and then stepped out into the cold morning. An interview, hey? That was definitely going to be something different and he was already beginning to feel nervous, despite being a rather confident, to the point of arrogance, person. Of course he'd be nervous— this was something new and dangerous, and he definitely wasn't the type of person who sang on a regular basis.

"Uchiha! Hey, try not to punch me this time, 'kay?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, merely nodding in greeting as Kiba raced up to meet him. The Uchiha noted, with an air of satisfaction, that the dog-boy didn't look quite as cocky as normal— in fact, he looked rather pale.

"This is goin' to be absolutely terrifyin'. I haven't done any singin' since I was in the school play," Kiba grumbled, rubbing his forehead blearily. "…Actually, it's makin' me sick just thinkin' about it. D'you think Tsunade'd let me pass?"

"…maybe after she's castrated you." Sasuke smirked, as they came to a halt outside the front door; Shizune waved them inside, directing them swiftly to a recording studio— which was, in fact, a small room right beside Tsunade's office. She smiled, wishing them the best of luck, and the two boys stepped inside.

The room fell silent.

Neji seemed to be in the middle of a solo piece; his fingers were running smoothly across the piano, effortlessly playing an intricate piece of music, and his eyes were closed as he sung along. Beside him sat an elegant dark-haired woman; she watched Neji, smiling slightly, with beautiful red eyes. It seemed, however, the momentary opening of the door and the appearance of Sasuke and Kiba had thrown him completely off track— he launched into a coughing fit and the woman frowned.

Naruto and Shikamaru were stood nearby, directly in front of a bushy-eyebrowed, grinning man. He was dressed in a green tracksuit, with the worst haircut Sasuke had ever seen; both boys were dressed in loose-fitting tracksuit and were in the middle of a camp-looking dance move. Sasuke scowled, just as Kiba grinned.

"This is going to be _hell_."

"It's nice of you two to join us; it's Shikamaru who I expect to be late," Tsunade called, suddenly appearing behind them with a tall, silver-haired man in a purple turtle-neck jumper; it was pulled up over the bottom half of his face, hiding his mouth. She waggled her fingers in greeting, before pointing at the man next to her. "This is Hatake Kakashi; he's the one who's going to interview you. I've just been showing him around."

"Yo," Kakashi waved a hand, his eyes crinkling in a smile.

Tsunade pointed briskly at the dark-haired woman next to Neji. "This lovely lady here is Kurenai; she's written your first single for you and will help produce it. If you have any questions, she's the one to talk to."

Kurenai smiled, bowing her head. "Good morning, boys."

"And that there is Gai; he's your dance instructor. Kiba, I want you over there with him first; Sasuke, go and introduce yourself to Kurenai. Remember; no complaining, do what your instructors tell you too, and listen to everything they say. Feel free to ask questions. Shizune will be up later to help you pick your interview outfits. Have fun, kiddos."

Tsunade beamed at them, before linking her arm around Kakashi's and leading him out of the room.

Sasuke shrugged, catching Naruto's eyes; the blonde grinned, flashing him the thumbs up, and Sasuke made his way over to Kurenai. Up close, she was even prettier— there was something elegant and glamorous about her, even as she began to speak rapidly to Neji, adjusting his hand positioning on the piano, and pushing his back straight. She seemed confident in herself, and Sasuke already had the feeling that she was the type of woman who got her job done; and, after all, there was definitely no room for failure.

"Sasuke!" She smiled, motioning for him to sit down beside her; he did so, immediately folding his arms. "I've already discussed the single with Tsunade, and we decided that it was in our best interests to let Neji take a leading role. However, she did mention Itachi had the voice of an angel. We decided we'd try you out as well, so I just want you to copy the lyrics Neji sings. Is that okay?"

Sasuke nodded. "Sure."

"Excellent! Neji, could you begin with the chorus?"

Neji also nodded. "Of course."

"Then…" Kurenai smiled, placing a hand on Sasuke's arm. "If you want, I can sing the first few lines with you. Then, I'll just let you continue on your own. Are we ready?"

Both boys nodded.

"Three, two, one… And, go!"

Neji closed his eyes, playing the first few notes; he took a deep breath, before beginning. His voice was low and soft; inwardly, Sasuke cursed, already hating the fact that the first single was no doubt a ballad. _"My heart beats, and I swear it hurts so much…"_

Sasuke bit his lip, before copying Neji; he made sure to keep in time with Kurenai, stumbling only over the first few notes, and then slowly getting into the swing of things. After the second line, he realized Kurenai wasn't singing any more; instead, she was smiling and nodding, watching the two boys slowly sing along together.

-

-

"How does that sound, Kakashi? I mean, how could you have ever doubted me?"

The younger man paused, pressing his ear against the door, and then nodded in Tsunade's general direction. "I suppose you're right; I didn't think you could get anyone as successful as Akatsuki… At first, I thought you had a bunch of slackers. Formula will be big."

"That's why I need your help; when Formula becomes big, you'll be able to say you were the first to find them. All I need to know is what type of questions you'll be asking them. I have the right to know! After all, I don't want you asking anything too personal; this is, after all, just a publicity stunt, and I want to keep Formula under the wraps for as long as I can. Got it?"

"…jeez, Tsunade, you can be really scary."

"That's a yes then! Ah, you won't regret it!"

-

-

"Woah, Sasuke, you can sing!" Naruto grinned, jabbing his friend playfully in the side; the rest of the band, and Gai, had been called over to listen to the other two sing— Neji had grown more and more confident, and was able to fluently play and sing the chorus, while Sasuke still found himself stumbling over a few words.

Shikamaru paused, glancing briefly at Sasuke, before turning to Kurenai. "I'm assuming Neji's our lead vocals; Sasuke'll just chip in every now and then, right? And, occasionally, he'll sing alone; the rest of us are just here for back-up."

The singing instructor smiled, nodding. "Correct," she turned to Gai. "You can steal Sasuke now; I'm going to teach Neji the rest of the song, and then I'll want the entire band. Is that okay?"

"Of course! Come, come, Uchiha-san! It's time for you to strut your funky stuff! Kiba, Naruto, Shikamaru; can you show Sasuke what you've just gone through? Kurenai, could you please provide the music? Three, two, one; and, GO!"

Kurenai sang beautifully, as Naruto, Shikamaru, and Kiba danced. They spread their arms wide, they pointed, they clasped their hands to their chest; every boy-band dance move they knew had been perfected and polished. Even Shikamaru managed to look heartfelt and romantic, though obviously not putting his all into the dance; Naruto and Kiba practically oozed love and innocence.

It was sickeningly angelic.

Sasuke blanched at the thought of him having to dance, before allowing himself to be dragged away by a snickering Naruto. Oh, this was definitely going to go badly.

-

-

Gai was a ruthless dance teacher and would accept nothing less than the best; obviously, he appreciated Sasuke was the Mysterious Type and therefore had to scowl, but the Uchiha still had to show some love. Sasuke had been forced to try expression after expression, ranging from a sickening, cute pout to his normal brooding scowl.

Naruto and Kiba were practically dying of laughter.

After deciding a smirk was the best they would get, Gai had then made sure Sasuke was actually putting his all into the dance moves. Was he stretching his arms wide enough, clasping his hands to his chest hard enough, pointing far enough? The Uchiha was getting sick of all of it; one more dance move and he'd be out of there faster than you could say 'jazz hands'.

Luckily, Gai was done.

They were called over to listen to the entire song; Neji sang beautifully on his own, his face a picture of sorrowful love. Somehow, Kurenai had even managed a Romeo and Juliet reference; even that, the Hyuuga didn't stumble over and he continued with a straight face, as Kiba sniggered. Then she was asking Sasuke to join in at the chorus, and he stood next to the piano; Gai pointed at the other three and positioned them beside Sasuke, and the four broke into their dance, as Neji played the piano and Sasuke sang.

Everything went extremely well for a first run through; and then Kurenai was asking Shikamaru, Kiba and Naruto to sing along at certain moments. They practiced over and over and over again, until all five boys knew exactly what was going on; during their song, Shizune crept in and beckoned each boy one after the other.

Sasuke went over first, slightly disappointed at having to leave; Shizune's brilliant smile, however, made him wonder exactly what was happening.

"The studio's ready." She whispered, before passing him a suit. "Get dressed in this, please, Sasuke-kun, and then get ready for your dress-rehearsal. We're ahead of time! You boys are just brilliant, by the way; I'm getting the fan-merchandise ready right now!"

She chuckled merrily, before pointing at a changing room (AKA; the toilets) and wandering away.

He changed quickly, only vaguely aware as Naruto entered after him. The Uchiha tugged off his t-shirt, swapping it for the crisp, white shirt and switched his dark jeans for just as dark suit trousers. He contemplated doing up his tie, attempted once, and then blinked as familiar fingers did it up for him; he stared down at Naruto, an eyebrow raised.

The blonde grinned. "You looked like you needed help, teme; besides, after hearing you sing like an angel, I just couldn't help myself. Did I mention I was recording that? Sai will love it."

"Dobe."

"I'll make sure he buys the single!"

-

-

Sasuke paused, glancing at his friends; he was even more nervous and his heart was pounding wildly in his chest. Naruto flashed him a grin, letting Kurenai adjust his tie and make sure his hair was fine— Shizune had already applied, to Sasuke's distaste, any make-up they needed (it seemed Neji was already efficient in the art of eyeliner) and Kurenai was just making sure they were fine.

Tsunade scowled, tugging on Kiba's shirt. "Should I undo one button and show a bit of chest, or should we just leave it at the untied tie? Kurenai, Shizune, what do you two think?"

"Ooh, one button undone! Think of the squealing girls; Kiba'll already have his own fanbase after they've seen the video," Shizune murmured, and Kurenai simply nodded in agreement; a button was undone and Kiba moved into position.

Then Tsunade was stood behind Neji, her hands tugging his hair band away, and hair fell down around his shoulders, briefly covering his eyes. He brushed it angrily out of his face, glared briefly at Tsunade, and then coughed as Shizune promptly sprayed him with hair spray.

Tsunade eyed Shikamaru hungrily, as though considering whether or not to do the same to the lazy genius; he inched backwards, hands held warily in front of him, and she shrugged, turning away.

"Is everything ready?" The other adults nodded, and Tsunade smiled. "Boys…? Are you ready?"

Sasuke faltered briefly, before nodding along with the others. He was only vaguely aware of Naruto's words, before Tsunade was yelling for everyone to get in their positions and suddenly, three, two, one—

ACTION!

-

-

My heart beats, and I swear it hurts so much,  
And I long to steal your every touch,  
Could you hold me?  
((Could you hold me?))  
Could you love me?  
((Could you love me?))  
Just like I always love you…

-

-

"…just like I always love… you…"

The singing faded out, Tsunade mouthed the words 'BE QUIET', and then pressed stop on the recording equipment, switching each camera off. "Okay, you've got enough time for a five minute break, and then meet me in the recording booth. We're going to get the CD recorded, ready for mass production; Kurenai will meanwhile be getting your next outfits ready. Come on!"

The boys groaned simultaneously, before following Tsunade to the recording booth. It was, after all, quickest to get everything over and done with, rather than wait for ages.

-

-

"…just like I always love… you…"

Tsunade grinned, switching off the recording equipment; now she had a CD and a tape ready. She'd have Shizune take them to Asuma, to get it ready for airing; he'd also get the CDs ready and get someone to drop a selection off at every store; and then she'd bring the video, and a CD, to the interview just as Kakashi finished. Then they'd play the video and she'd get Sasuke, or maybe Naruto, to tell everyone to buy the single.

Everything could only go perfectly.

She gave the boys five minutes to relax, and told Shizune to take the CD, and the tape, to Asuma. "Tell him I'll be over in a few minutes; the singles called 'Could You?' by Formula."

-

-

"Yo, everyone, and you're watching… TOP SPOT."

Kakashi fell silent, as the offstage audience applauded, whooped and squealed loudly— the camera span around to focus on a group of shrieking fans, all wearing t-shirts with Kakashi's half-covered face on them, before turning back to face Kakashi.

He waited for silence, before beginning again. "After being the first to spot plenty of talented bands, such as Akatsuki and Sound 5, we're once again giving you only the best." Kakashi smiled at the camera, his turtle neck peeled down to reveal a charming smile. "Unlike the last few bands we've raved about, we've found a very special _boy-band_. And, we can assure you, they're brilliant. Give it up for FORMULAAAA!"

There was more cheering, whooping and screaming from the offstage audience.

Neji walked onto the stage first, waving politely at the audience; Shikamaru shuffled on next, stretching and smiling. Kiba strode on with Naruto, his arm slung around the blonde's neck, and winked at the audience; there were a few squeals of delight— Naruto pouted, before grinning as well. Sasuke wandered on last, his normal smirk plastered on his face, and sat down opposite Kakashi.

"These boys have just released their first single, 'Could You?' You can buy it from any popular retail store; and we advise you to buy, buy, buy!" Kakashi's smile seemed even more charming, and he turned to Neji. "So, you're Hyuuga Neji, correct? Could you just introduce me to the rest of your band?"

Neji nodded, gesturing with his hands. "Certainly. Inuzuka Kiba is on my right; sat next to him, on the loveseat, are Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto. Nara Shikamaru is sat on your left, Kakashi-san."

Sasuke scowled— the bastard just _had _to mention the loveseat.

"Ah! So, Neji-san, lets get right down to business. On your single, you're seen playing the piano," Kakashi turned, pointing at a rather conveniently positioned piano behind him. "How long have you been playing the piano for?"

"I first began playing when I was six; of course, at the time, I could play little more than Chopsticks. Originally, I used to play it with my father— he sadly died when I became ten and, since then, I've had to teach myself. It can become a little lonely at times, but it reminds me of him," Neji sighed, before lightening up considerably. "And, now I can play the piano with those closest to me; my friends, and fellow band-mates."

Kakashi nodded, looking interested. "Of course! So, Kiba; there are some rumours going around that you like to party. In fact, when I asked a few of your college mates, they said you were 'wild at heart' and 'completely dangerous'. What happened; how have you managed to change from troublesome playboy to squeaky-clean popstar?"

Kiba grinned, slouching across the sofa. "Nah, 'kashi; I haven't actually changed. Inside, I'm still dangerous— so beware, ladies— but I've just realized that some things can be enjoyed in small doses. I don't have to party every night; some nights, I can just stay in with a movie and have fun with friends."

And then the silver-haired man had turned to Naruto. "Naruto, you and Sasuke have been best friends for years, and I suppose the bond you share must be stronger than any other. But, are there must be times when you sit alone and wonder what could have been?" Kakashi promptly turned to the audience. "You see, Naruto never knew his parents; they died when he was just young. And now he visits their grave, on his own, and I'm sure he sheds a tear or two." He turned back to Naruto. "So…?"

"When I'm with Sasuke-chan, I can forget about it, even for a little while; but when everything's quiet and I'm alone in my apartment, I can't help but wonder. I mean, everyone would wonder, right?" Naruto paused, spreading his arms out to the audience. "I don't even know what a mother's hand feels like— but everyone looks on the bright side of life!" The blonde grinned. "You know what they say… don't worry, be happy!"

Sasuke watched in disbelief as Kiba and Naruto both launched into the opening lyrics of the Bobby McFerrin song. "Here's a little song I wrote, you might want to sing it note for note… don't worry; be happy!"

Kakashi laughed good-naturedly along with them and, in that moment, Sasuke realized Naruto had won the audience over. Soon everyone was singing (minus Sasuke and Neji, but hey! It was good enough) and laughing.

-

-

Meanwhile, Tsunade couldn't help but laugh with glee; Formula were definitely the best idea she'd ever had.

-

-

"So, Sasuke; are you willing to share any words on your relationship with Uchiha Itachi for us?" Kakashi asked, and Sasuke couldn't help but scowl in annoyance.

"I don't have a relationship with him—"

"—he's your brother, isn't he?" Kakashi managed to sound genuinely concerned.

"Yes." There was a moment of silence, before Sasuke rolled his eyes and began to blatantly lie. "I suppose… inside, I do love him. But, ultimately, he's not the best brother as far as they go. I barely get a chance to see him."

-

-

"Hey, Itachi, un! ITACHI! Look at this, un!"

Deidara waved him over, from his position sprawled across the sofa. The older Uchiha sighed, wandering across the room. "Look at the TV, un; isn't that your brother?"

Itachi blinked, before slipping his glasses out of his pocket and peering at the dark-haired figure on the screen. "Hn. It seems it is, Deidara. Who is he with?"

"His band, un. They're called Formula." The blonde smirked, tugging a bar of chocolate out of his pocket and nibbling on the corner. "They're the new boy-band, un; the critics are going to go mad."

"Have you heard their single yet?"

"No, un; Kakashi's just asking the last question."

On the screen, Kakashi leaned forwards, as though about to ask Sasuke something secret. He chuckled good-naturedly, before beginning. "If you're a big Akatsuki fan, like me, you'll probably have wondered what the answer to the question is a long time ago; in fact, I've had plenty of fanmail asking me to find out. Well then, Sasuke; do you know what his sexual preference is?"

At least Sasuke and the rest of Formula had the decency to look slightly embarrassed at the sudden question. Itachi glowered darkly at the screen, as Deidara burst into peals of laughter.

"…I don't know."

Kakashi, however, wasn't going to leave it at that. "Are you sure he hasn't dropped any hints? None at all?"

Although Sasuke was still attempting to look embarrassed, Itachi caught the evil glint in his little brother's eyes. "…well, I suppose… No, it could be nothing…"

The interviewer chuckled, shrugging. "I suppose it's still a mystery, right, Sasuke-kun? Anyway, here's Formulas new single, 'Could You?'"

The screen faded to black and a long green bar flew across the bottom of it. 'Now watching: Formula, Could You?' The opening shot was a typical boy band, stood in front of a piano; "that's Neji," Deidara said, jabbing his finger at the handsome boy playing the piano. "Sasuke's in front of him. The others, in order, are Shikamaru, Naruto and Kiba."

Itachi only really recognized Naruto, his brother's cute, baby-faced best friend.

They listened in silence, and Itachi couldn't help but twitch in annoyance as Sasuke began to sing. He remained perfectly still, scowling darkly at the screen; Deidara bopped along to the beat, even humming the notes after the song had ended— he was silenced with a glare.

"Hey, come on! They're not too shabby."

-

-

When the video ended, Sasuke was ushered to the middle of the stage, with Naruto. "Just smirk in your sexy way, big boy, and let cutie here do all the talking," the camerawoman had warned him and, despite the fact that she'd just called him 'big boy', he listen to her. "Three, two, one and… action!"

"Hi everyone!" Naruto waved at the camera, grinning. "Hope you liked our single; I know Sasuke-chan certainly enjoyed singing along, right Sasuke-chan?"

Sasuke scowled, jabbing the blonde with his elbow. "Don't tease, dobe. You were doing some nice dancing as well."

Naruto pouted childishly, rubbing his side. "But there was no need to poke me, teme! Anyway, guys; remember to pick up our single from all leading retail stores today! Trust me, it's worth it!"

And then he began to sing the first few lines of 'Could You?', elbowing Sasuke in an attempt to get the Uchiha to sing along. He rolled his eyes, before singing the chorus perfectly with Naruto. After their little performance, the blonde gave a childish bow and grinned.

The audience roared with applause.

-

-

**Inuzuka Kiba**; your typical wild-at-heart boyfriend  
**Hyuuga Neji**; your typical tall, talented and smart honey  
**Uzumaki Naruto**; likeable and cute, what more could you ask for?  
**Nara Shikamaru**; needs little feeding  
**Uchiha Sasuke**; just damn sexy

**FORMULAAAA!**

-

-

Just three miles away from the studio, Haruno Sakura lay sprawled across her bed, her eyes completely glued to the TV; she brushed a stray strand of cherry-pink hair absently behind her ear, staring at the TV with wide emerald eyes. Next to her, Yamanaka Ino sat perched on the edge of the bed, clutching a pillow to her chest, her eyes huge in awe. The pair had been in the midst of watching Mulan, when Tenten had called them up to tell them to "TURN THE HELL OVER!"

And, boy, they were glad they had.

Sakura turned to her best friend, jabbing her finger at the beautiful (because there was just no other word to describe it) boys on the screen. "Angels. That's what they have to be; no boy can be that good-looking."

"I could eat the blonde one right up! Yummy!" Ino teased in agreement, squeezing the pillow tightly. "Ugh, they're just so goregous; look at Shikamaru! He's totally mine, okay?"

"You can have him, Ino-pig; I'm taking God then." Sakura sighed dreamily, gazing at Uchiha Sasuke. Oh, he was beautiful and handsome; with his glossy, midnight-black hair and his pale, marble skin. When he sang, he looked so peaceful and at one with himself. "Ino-pig, I think I'm falling in love."

The two girls sighed together, blinked, and then burst into laughter.

"Sadly, we have no chance," Sakura moaned, burying her head in her hands. "My future with God was over before it even began. They'll have plenty of girls waiting in line for them."

"Don't give up, Forehead! It's like how Atomic Kitten once sang!"

Ino promptly jumped up onto the bed, singing into her hairbrush. "The tide is high, but I'm holding on; I'm gonna be your number one. I'm not the kinda girl to give up just like that… Oh, yeah!"

Sakura snorted, before shrieking in annoyance as the hairbrush slapped against her butt. She glowered up at her best friend.

"We're not giving up, Forehead; we'll never give up! WE ARE THE PRETTIEST FANGIRLS IN THE WORLD!"

"…do you have to shout?" Sakura chuckled, watching the rolling credits zoom down the screen. She skipped back to Mulan, before turning to Ino. "The moment they have their first concert, we are so going to be in the front row."

"Affirmative, soldier!"

-

-

**To: Madara  
From: Orochimaru**

formula, huh? that's definitely new.

-

-

**To: Orochimaru  
From: Madara**

it's a shame akatsuki's new single is also coming out.

-

-

**To: Madara  
From: Tsunade**

Nice try, bastard. We still win. Top of the Charts for the third week running.

-

-

And, it seemed Formula had plenty more triumphs to come.

-

-

* * *

—-

—

-

when you walked through the door,  
it was clear to me,  
you're the one they adore, who they came to see.  
you're a rockstar;  
everybody wants you.  
player, who can really blame you?

((we're the ones who made you))

-

—

—-

* * *

Now that I look back at this chapter, I actually totally loved writing it. Ino's almost as much fun to write as Tsunade is— and, believe me, you'll be seeing a hell of a lot more of Ino and Sakura.

x


	4. 004: RISE to fame

003: RISE TO FAME

-

-

"I'm _baaaacckk!_"

Itachi scowled, rubbing his forehead with his index finger and desperately tried to ignore the blonde that had just flung himself into the room, flinging the grocery bags into the middle of the table so that the contents spilled out.

"Cookies for Itachi, yeah, because we all know how cranky he gets if he doesn't get his sugar," Deidara began, ticking the list off his fingers. "Herbal Essences shampoo for Sasori, because he has a sensitive scalp—"

Sasori scooped his possessions off the table, grumbling under his breath, before retreating back to his room.

"—a new wallet for Kakuzu, because his is all old and icky and _ugh—_"

Kakuzu paused, inspecting the shiny leather wallet, and his eyes narrowed at the price tag. "Six pounds fifty," he stated, the disgust and contempt obvious in his voice. "That's six pounds too much."

"—I'll ignore that, yeah, because, Kakuzu, we're freaking _rich and famous_!" Deidara rolled his eyes, before returning to his list. "Where was I? Oh, right; hair gel for Hidan, eyeliner for Hidan, razorblades for Hidan, some chick's phone number for Hidan—"

Hidan flashed everyone a shit-eating grin, picked the scrap of paper with the number off the table, and tugged his phone out of his pocket. He dialed the number, waited a moment, and then spoke, "Hey, Tayuya, nice to hear from you again— what's it been, two fucking years, bitch? …no, I won't fucking date you just 'cause I'm on the TV, you can buy a poster like every other motherfucker…"

"—anyway, yeah!" Deidara called, drawing all attention back to himself, before chucking something at Kisame. "There's that soap you asked for, since your last one went missing, yeah."

"Hey, it's in the shape of a fishy!"

Itachi rolled his eyes, picked up his cookies, and was just about to leave when he noticed something else lying at the bottom of the bag. Frowning slightly, he reached in, ignoring Deidara's protests, and his eyes narrowed as he found himself face to face with his younger brother.

…or, at least, a considerably small photo of him, surrounded by four of his friends, on the front of a CD.

"What? It's not my fault they're so catchy, yeah!"

Silence and then—

"Ha, ha, Deidara— Itachi is _so _going to kick your fucking ass."

-

-

"And one, and two, and one, and two— KEEP MARCHING!— and three and four, now POINT, POINT, move your arms, WHERE IS THE YOUTH, Sasuke? POINT!"

Sasuke's scowl darkened, to the point where he looked like he was ready to kill anyone and anything, and his four bandmates shifted quickly away from. If Gai told him to point, one more time, he was definitely going to snap; hell, this was just _too _embarrassing.

He'd already spent half an hour singing a cheesy love song with Neji, and now he was practicing the dance moves to one of the more upbeat and catchy songs they'd written. He'd been able to endure Kurenai's soft, slightly patronizing, voice, but Gai's lively personality was getting on his nerves. Not to mention the fact that he'd been bombarded with creepy, YOU'REINABOYBANDWHYDIDN'TYOUTELLME?!!!1!, text messages from Karin.

"—SASUKE, POINT. Keep your arms straight and youthful and where are you going? We haven't finished yet!"

"I need a break." Sasuke snapped, before throwing open the door and marching down the hall.

Being famous was already annoying him. Singing was already annoying him. Shit, Naruto had been annoying him for all of his life, but even he was becoming too much.

What Sasuke desperately needed was a bit of peace and quiet, and a coffee.

"Sasuke-chan gets a break? I wanna go too!" He heard Naruto whine from the room he'd just left. "Come on, come on, and let's go already! I wanna go to Starbucks; "

He'd settle for just a coffee if he had to.

-

-

"Um, hi, can I get your order please?"

"Yes, please. I'll have an iced latte, thank you—"

"—aw, Neji, you're so posh and polite. I'll have a hot chocolate, cheers."

"…okay… One hot chocolate and one iced latte. What can I get for you three?"

"Coffee."

"Sasuke-chan, don't be so rude! What's the magic _word?_"

THWACK.

"OW!"

"…dobe."

"…so troublesome. Naruto'll have a hot chocolate with cream—"

"—and a flake!—"

"—and I'll have a frappucino."

"How manly are you, Shikamaru?"

"Shut up, Kiba."

"Bite me."

"…so that'll be two hot chocolates, one with cream, one without; one iced latte and one frappucino; and, last but not least, one coffee. On the house."

"…on the house?"

"I mean, omigod, I just realised who you guys are! You're Formula! That cute new boyband! Oh, God, you guys are so much hotter in the flesh; can I have an autograph? Sakura's never gonna believe this!"

-

-

"…you met Formula." Sakura repeated blankly, tucking her hair behind her ears and leaning closer to Ino. "You met Formula. They sat here. In the flesh. In Starbucks. Where you just so happened to be working."

"That's what I just said, Forehead." Ino rolled her eyes, before smirking. "You don't believe me, do you?"

"No."

"Tenten does!" Ino cried, outraged, motioning at a slightly shorter brunette sat beside her, with her hair twisted tightly into two buns.

She raised an eyebrow, gazing at her friend with narrow brown eyes. "I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt here, Ino, because I swear, if you're lying—!" She let the threat hang in the air, balling her hands into fists for emphasis, and then burst into laughter.

Sakura grinned triumphantly. "She's just mocking you and your tiny little brain, Ino-pig."

Ino scowled, before reaching into her bag and, with a dainty flourish, tugging out a cardboard cup. It was murky brown, with the classic Starbucks symbol on it; except, on this cup, there was something written on it, in untidy black ink.

Sakura's eyes widened as she read the words: Yo, Sakura! Thanks for the support! All our love, Formula.

Around the little message, were four signatures and a letter; two tidy, one extremely messy, another with an 'I' dotted with a smiley face, and one lonely 'S'.

"I couldn't get Sasuke to sign it properly; the blonde one, Naruto, told me that _was_ his signature." Ino sighed theatrically, before grinning evilly. "…but! This _was_ his cup."

For a brief moment, Sakura's heart stopped.

"You're telling me that God's lips were pressed against this cup?"

"You'd better believe it, Forehead." Ino snickered, before handing a similar cup to Tenten, who sniffed it and then murmured, "latte" softly.

"You are so, so, _so_ lucky, Ino. I am so entirely envious of you. In fact, I'm fangirling so bad over here."

"Oh, there is more. So much more."

"Spill."

"Well, Neji— you know, the one with the long hair— went to my manager afterwards; told him he'd been really impressed with my professional behaviour and how I'd only squealed once and maybe they'd come back here again. And the manager, sensing money and stuff, said he'd organize a booth for them, so they could drink here in privacy. Neji says something about them not being far from here and how handy it'd be, and then they talk money, and guess what? Formula is going to be drinking at _my _Starbucks! And _I'll _be serving them."

Both Tenten and Sakura let out simultaneous squeaks of delight.

"…it's a shame, Tenten, that you decided work as a secretary at a hospital. And it's a darn shame, Sakura that you're working at Topshop, even if you do get a discount on clothes." Ino beamed smugly at them.

"Oh, shut up, pig. You've got two new customers now. More cash and tips and whatever," Sakura replied, waving a hand airily.

Ino raised an eyebrow. "You don't even work near here, Sakura."

"Our money's as good as anybody else's, Ino; don't go turning away customers!" Tenten muttered, cradling Neji's old latte cup in her hands.

"Your breaks aren't long enough for you to get here, and back, Tenten." Ino blinked, before throwing her hands in the air. "But I digress! You guys can stop here for coffee and whatever, but you're not to harass any customers. Otherwise the manager harasses me. And by customers, I mean the fit guys from Formula. Promise me that!"

"We promise, Ino!"

"Good."

-

-

Almost a month after meeting the bubbly Starbucks waitress, and almost two months after the interview with Kakashi and the release of Could You?, Formula's album was ready.

During that time, they'd already released three videos, including the video that went alongside Could You? After their first interview, they'd had a three page spread in _heat_, and been on _MTV_, as well as appearing once again on Top Spot.

During that time, both Sasuke and Neji had taken to buying headache tablets, as Naruto's voice can be very high-pitched when he becomes aggravated— and Kiba had taken to making Naruto as aggravated as possible at every moment.

And Shikamaru… what does he do anyway? Whatever. Shikamaru was just being Shikamaru.

-

-

((DOMINATING THE NUMBER ONE SPOT FOR THREE WEEKS NOW…

"JUST THE BEGINNING!"

FORMULA'S NEW ALBUM, INCLUDING THE SMASH HIT:  
"COULD YOU?"  
AS WELL AS "TAKE ME BACK" AND "NEVER FORGET (YOU HURT ME BAD)"

INCLUDING BONUS TRACK  
"KISS ME QUICKLY, SALSA THROUGH THE NIGHT!"))

-

-

"Look at this— just look at this!" Tsunade grinned, throwing a magazine down onto the table. Kiba and Naruto promptly threw themselves across the table, all messy limbs and jutting elbows, hiding the magazine from view. Neji sighed, closing the piano lid (where he'd been playing Fur Elise) and peered over the shorter blonde's shoulder.

Neither Shikamaru or Sasuke looked up from the game of chess they were playing.

"It's _heat. _Again." Neji said blankly.

"Yeah, granny, what's up with that? All you've been buyin' for the past week are _heat _magazines, and none of us even read 'em." Kiba grumbled, before yelping as Tsunade smacked his head.

"No wonder you morons don't know what I'm talking about; you've got it on the wrong page." She snapped, before flicking a few pages and then jabbing her finger at the paper. "There. See? There."

Silence.

"…I don't see what the big deal is," Naruto blinked, scratching his head. "I mean, that's just a photo of us and—"

"—you can barely see me!" Kiba scowled, still rubbing the back of his head. "Unfair!"

"You morons don't have a brain cell between you!" Tsunade roared, whacking them both, and then prodded the paper. "You idiots— all five of you— are _heat_'s top spot! Formula is this week's top spot! You are officially famous!"

Neji rolled his eyes, before wandering back over to Shikamaru and Sasuke; he watched for a second, only mildly interested, as Shikamaru knocked another of Sasuke's pawns off the table, and the Uchiha gritted his teeth. Kiba and Naruto went back to play-fighting over the table, rolling and lunging, as Tsunade counted mentally up to ten.

She stopped at three.

"YOU BUFFOONS DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS, DO YOU?"

"…I think it's safe to assume that, no, no we don't," Shikamaru drawled, leaning back in his chair and flicking Sasuke's queen off the board.

"UGH. Okay. Calm down. Calm. Deep breaths," Tsunade murmured, attempting to compose herself; then she turned to Kiba and Naruto, with a fixed grin, and tugged them both apart from each other. "Listen please; it might take you a while to understand."

Sasuke simply grunted in response, moving his king out of the way of check.

"Okay. Gossip magazines are about celebrities. In this issue, for example, there's an interview with Jiraiya, a good friend of mine, and a couple of pages on which celebrities are looking fabulous, and a couple more pages on those who look like shit. Then there's a spot the celeb page. And you guys are top spot!"

Kiba grinned. "So that's good, right?"

"Very." Tsunade nodded. "It's cause for celebration. You beat Uchiha Itachi and Minato Namikaze to top spot. You're very famous now. And, it's not all down to me; after all, you guys are the ones who have to sing and dance and all that jazz— so, to show my gratitude, I bought you something!"

"A car?!" Naruto cheered.

Shikamaru just rolled his eyes, moving his knight closer to Sasuke's king; the Uchiha scowled.

"No, something much better than that. I've been watching you guys, and I've seen how well you've been getting on, and it'd be easier for me to have you all in one place to keep an eye on you." Tsunade said, "Which is why I've bought you morons your own house, with a kitchen. a bathroom, a living room, and four bedrooms. There's even a games room and a study."

She tossed something silver through the air, towards Neji, who caught it with ease. He blinked, peering down at the five keys, and then back at Tsunade.

"Honestly? You've bought Formula a house?"

"Think of it as Formula's Headquarters."

Neji tilted his head, staring at Tsunade. "It must have been expensive."

"Seriously? I'm rolling in cash! You guys have made me rich; I can afford to do this for you! There's just one teensy weensy, itsy bitsy, little favour I have to ask of you guys."

Shikamaru glanced up at Tsunade, raising an eyebrow, before idly moving his bishop towards Sasuke's king, cornering it.

"Which is…?"

"Actually quite a big favour really. But I think you guys are ready for it. And you've been at number one for almost four weeks now. And I've even gotten the t-shirts ready. Heck, the dates are already set. You can't say no. This isn't even a favour. This is your next job. You guys are going on tour around Konoha, starting in exactly two weeks, and half the tickets are already sold, so you can't back out of it, because you're ready now!"

There was a moment of silence.

"We're going on tour?" Kiba repeated.

"Yes. You are."

"There'll be screaming fangirls?" Naruto blinked.

"Yes. There will be."

"Then why would we complain?" Kiba asked, slightly suspicious. "Buyin' us a house just to get us to go on tour— we're a boyband, we have to tour sometime. So what's with the fuss?"

"Because…"

"What?" Neji snapped.

"…because of the opening act. The band playing before you." Tsunade promptly winced. "I don't think… some of you… will agree with my choice."

Sasuke tensed, eyes still glued to the chess board; he had a funny feeling that he knew what Tsunade was going to say, but he was going to give her the benefit of the doubt and all. Shikamaru's fingers, nimble and quick, plucked the bishop from it's place and moved it diagonally, two spaces— Sasuke froze, glancing at his king, calculating the outcome, and—

"I asked Akatsuki to perform."

"…checkmate."

-

-

"…it's three 'o' clock in the morning, Ino, you'd better have a good reason for calling me…"

"—_IGOTTHEM!"_

"You got what?"

"—_the tickets! The ones to see Formula! I got three of them! Front seats too!"_

"…h—how?"

"—_they announced it on their blog ages ago, and I've been looking out for tickets ever since; and this girl I know, she's sick, can't go, and she says to me, 'hey, you like them, take your friends, I was going to ask you to go anyway' and I'm all, 'oh, you motherfreaking rock', and she's like, 'hell, I know'."_

"Oh wow."

"—_celebration time?"_

"Totally. My place. Nine 'o' clock sharpish, then we're going shopping. Call Tenten."

"—_will do. Sweet dreams, Forehead."_

-

-

"We're the supporting act to Formula?" Kisame blinked, staring at Pein, their lead singer. "You cannot be serious."

"It's true." Pein simply murmured, not bothering to elaborate.

Konan sighed, staring longingly at her guitar. "If it were any other band, they'd have just picked some nobodies; but Tsunade wants to rub it in Madara's face, and Madara thinks that somehow we can steal the show when he knows that's not possible."

"It is."

The rest of Akatsuki stared incredulously at Itachi.

"You're not serious, yeah," was all Deidara said.

"I'm utterly serious. Sasuke, my foolish brother, loathes me. Quite publically. In many of my past interviews, I've stated that our relationship is… rocky." Itachi's mouth twitched into a humorless smile. "Madara knows exactly what he's doing; he hopes my presence will spark some kind of reaction for Sasuke. And, even if that doesn't happen naturally, he wants me to do something… drastic."

Sasori's eyes narrowed. "How drastic?"

Itachi's gaze darkened and suddenly all of the Akatsuki understood.

"Hey, how d'you figure all this shit out anyway?" Hidan asked, raising an eyebrow at Itachi. "What're you, some fucking child prodigy or whatever?"

"…Madara left a note on the fridge, actually. If you'd bothered to read it."

The rest of Akatsuki simply whistled and looked away. Finally, Kakuzu spoke. "So who's going to be your partner in crime, anyway? Not Kisame, because that'd be weird."

"Or Konan, because she's a girl," Hidan quipped, and Itachi shot him a filthy look.

"Or Kakuzu, 'cause that wouldn't look right," Pein muttered, and Sasori let out a heavy sigh.

"So, basically, all we're really looking at is Deidara, right? Because he's the only other gay icon in our group; and girls already fantasize about the pair of you being together, you should see some of the fan work."

Hidan shot the redhead a surprised look. "You actually look at that shit?"

"No, but you'd be surprised at which female in this household doesn't know how to clear the internet history," Sasori deadpanned. "And for once I'm not talking about Deidara."

"HEY—!"

-

-

"I'm not doing this—"

"Aw, come on, Sasuke-chan, nothing can go wrong, seriously!"

"—you can't make me—"

"If you wish to be childish, do it in your own time, Uchiha; however, now we have a song to record, and if you do not come out of your room this instant, I will bust your door down. I'm going to give you five."

"—just try it, Hyuuga—"

"You can't hate your bro that much, Sasuke! I mean, what's he actually done?"

"—hn—"

"See? You can't even think of anythin' to say apart from 'hn', and that isn't even a word! He hasn't even done anythin'!"

"—that doesn't mean he hasn't done anything, idiot, that just means I'm not telling you what he's done—"

"Five!"

"C'mon, Sasuke, they all know about the fire that killed your parents, and you've got no proof that—"

"—shut up, dobe!—"

"Four!"

"…this is so troublesome."

"—oh, whatever—"

"Jeez, Sasuke, don't be like that. It's only a little tour. They'll be on and off in no time, and you don't even have to talk to him."

"Three!"

"—it's not the talking to him bit I care about; he's going to screw this up, I just know it—"

"Stop bein' such a girl, Sasuke."

"Two!"

"—I'm going for a walk."

"What? Then open the door! Sasuke, you can't seriously be thinking of—!"

"ONE!"

BAM.

"…"

"…he actually jumped out the window. And Neji actually broke the door down. What, is everyone insane here?"

"How troublesome. We're on the third floor, too."

"What if he's hurt himself? What if he broke something—?"

"—if he has not broken something from the fall, I will break him when he gets back. That idiot is going to stop being such a whiny brat, and he will perform; and I will make him perform even if it kills me!"

"…"

"And someone fix that door!"

-

-

Sasuke scowled, shoving his hands into his pockets; he hadn't meant to jump from so far up, but hey, he hadn't hurt himself and he was not going back there in a hurry. Neji was going to kill him; that much was definite.

The Uchiha sighed, ambling aimlessly through Konoha, stopping every now and then to sign an autograph or scowl for a picture— his mind was always elsewhere. He passed the Starbucks, nodding curtly at the blonde waitress who'd served them before, and continued onwards.

He wasn't sure where he was going.

So far, the walk wasn't doing anything to clear his head. Memories appeared— haunting, dark memories— he could smell smoke and hear screams— and people hurried past him in a hazy blur. Itachi's face swam in and out of focus. The silver lighter, with the Uchiha sign on it, a crack running through the middle, burnt by the fire.

YOU'VE GOT NO PROOF.

Naruto's words cut through his thoughts. It was true. He had no proof; none whatsoever. As far as he was concerned, he needed none. Itachi was as good as guilty.

Who else could have done it?

It was no accident.

"—a penny for your thoughts?"

Sasuke blinked, hurriedly taking in his surroundings; he'd obviously wandered, dazed, into the parks, and had found himself stood beside the duck pond, next to a pretty girl his age, with the brightest cherry pink hair he'd ever seen and the most beautiful emerald eyes he'd gazed into.

She smiled slightly, offering her bread to him. "Unless, of course, you don't want to talk about it; and if you don't want to, you can always feed the ducks. I find it takes my mind off stuff."

He numbly accepted a slice of bread, tore it up into strips, and then threw them, one after the other, at the ducks. They flapped and quacked, snapping at each other to get a piece; from beside him, the pink-haired girl threw another slice, letting out a giggle as the bread bounced off a bewildered duck's head.

He smirked slightly.

"You come here often, then?"

"Hm?" The girl tilted her head, before nodding. "Oh yeah. When Ino's finished blabbering on about who knows what, I need some time alone to clear my head."

"And it works?"

"Yup." She paused, before gesturing in the direction of a small café, based at the edge of the park. "Coffee?"

Sasuke blinked, before shrugging one shoulder lazily. "I'll pay." He murmured, before striding past her; she hurried along beside him, walking quickly to keep up. They reached the café quickly and bought a coffee and a hot chocolate; he sipped his black, and she sweetened hers with about five sugars.

He raised an eyebrow. "Sweet enough for you?"

"Bitter enough for you?"

He stared at her, before snorting. Then, suddenly, on a spur of the moment, he beckoned to her. "Walk with me. Just for a while."

She cocked her head again, like she'd done only moments earlier, before nodding. They straightened simultaneously, holding their drinks in one hand, and began to walk together, side by side; there was enough of a gap between them for them to swing their arms, but, as they walked, they found themselves getting closer and closer together.

After a while, she began to talk about nothing and everything. She told him about her job, about her friends, about the music she listened to and the last film she'd watched. He told her about his friends, gave her the lowdown on his all time favourite horror movies and told her about the last game he'd played. They argued playfully about actors and actresses, and swapped funny stories, until they were walking out of the park and up towards Starbucks. As they walked past the shop, the girl suddenly realised where she was and skidded to a halt.

"Sorry," she mumbled apologetically, gesturing at the hyperactive waitress waving at her. "This is my stop. I'll, uh, talk to you soon?"

"Same time, same place."

She nodded and hurried inside, immediately chatting away to her friend; he watched her for a second longer, and then turned away, trudging back to his awaiting doom— Neji was, after all, going to kill him.

After walking for a while longer, he realised he'd never asked her name.

-

-

* * *

—-

—

-

hey you,  
what's a good girl  
(like you)  
doing in this crazy world?

(just a good gone girl)

-

—

—-

* * *

Sorry about disappearing of the face of the world; school and stuff. Is it just me, or does the new Mika album rock?  
x


End file.
